While I was in the midst of my six weeks of antibiotics, my boss began to wonder if the office could be making me sick. The office was tested and there was moderate growth of several species of mold. Yet the tester didn’t believe it was making me sick since I had at first been presenting with sinus infections and we had yet to get fungus to grow out of my sinuses. (I have learned since that fungus is very picky and sometimes will not grow in the culture plates every time.) I had not been sick like this until after starting work in this building.
Meanwhile as I sunk deeper into depression I was sent to a doctor in the Bay Area because a RAST test had shown very high allergies to mold and some foods. I couldn’t believe my ears when I was told that I had to quit eating many of my favorite foods including chocolate, soy sauce (there went my Chinese Food lunches with friends), corn and wheat (Practically everything has some form of corn or wheat in it.) What was I going to eat? Was I expected to learn to make foods without all these ingredients? As the depression got worse I phoned a friend. From my book:
I began phoning a friend who was a grief counselor. I talked to her quite frequently. What was wrong with me? Why did I feel so bad? I had never felt like this before. I just couldn’t quite put my finger on how I felt but I knew that I was in pain. It wasn’t like the pain I had in my face. I hurt deep inside and felt empty. I felt that there was no end to my being sick and that no one could really understand what I was going through. I told my friend that I now understood what drove people to suicide. I had never and was not now contemplating it but understood how they must feel.
I had been crying a lot and Dr. Spitzer put me on an antidepressant in hopes of stabilizing me. He also wrote a note stating that I needed some time off from work to allow the medication to work. I felt better for a while and had more energy. I cleaned my house like a wild woman. The wonderful feeling didn’t last long and surgery number three happened August 1, 2000. Three surgeries in nine months!