I just want to disappear

Depression always had me in its tight grasp.  It was my constant daily companion.  As I have been working on finalizing the text for my book I ran across this quote in the book.  I am sure many of you suffering from chronic illness, multiple chemical sensitivity and mold induced illness can relate to what I wrote.

I always wanted to just disappear. In mid-March I wrote in my journal, “Hey Mr. Magician—Do your magic on me—Take my life and make it disappear—Cast an illusion on the way I live—Hide my tears and silence my cries—Hey Mr. Magician—Make a new life appear from behind a scarf—A life where I can no longer be afraid—Afraid of smells, chemicals, and mostly afraid of mold—Hey Mr. Magician—Can you put me in the box—Tap your wand abracadabra—I appear out in the real world—And the non believers are trapped in the box—Hey Mr. Magician—Show me your magic—Take my troubles and my fears—Make them disappear.”

I hope that those new to this blog will sign in to follow via email.  I also look forward to hearing from others who suffer from this illness.

2 responses to “I just want to disappear

  1. Hey! Life gets better. You need to beleive that it does. I find exercise helps me.


  2. Miche

    I am much better than when I wrote this back in early 2000. This is a quote from my book. Yes, life gets better and we learn better coping skills. Thank you for commenting.

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