Nothing was working!

I had endured three sinus surgeries and had just had my fourth on June 12, 2001.  In the time of about twenty months I had gone through four sinus surgeries and was still dealing with pain and constant infections.  The fourth surgery was from a doctor in Southern California.  As with most of my doctors I communicated a lot via fax messages.  It was easier for me to get my words, questions, and frustrations out on paper.  I didn’t have to rely on the doctor being available and he could simply reply with a fax or a phone call at his convenience.

On June 25, 2001 I faxed my newest doctor.  (Excerpt from my book)

I am still running the fever and have pain, particularly in the left sinus area.  I am trying to get a handle on what is causing this as quickly as I can.  I take a pain pill a half hour before I go to bed so that I can sleep and wake up hurting so bad that I take pain pill so that I can function.  I am due to return to work Aug. 1 after being on leave of absence since March.  I still can’t believe it has been almost two years since I first got sick.  I feel like I am not any closer to a solution than I was back then. I am frustrated that I don’t seem to respond to the surgeries, IV therapies, and other treatments I have endured. Every time we think we have the answer, it doesn’t work, or I become ill again a short time later.  Maybe I need a total body scan.  If Dr. D—-agrees to the bone scan, I have listed the hospitals that I could go to….

On June 27th I wrote another lengthy note and faxed it as well.  I had enumerated 10 things.  From my book I list a few of those things.

3. I had an infectious disease doctor recommend Amphotericin through IV…My allergist isn’t too sure about it.  I am ready for the ‘Big Guns’ at this point…5. I am at the ‘BREAKING POINT!’  Thank GOD for the Remeron…9. I need assurances that things are going to get better.  Nobody can really understand what this has been like unless they have lived it….10. HELP! HELP! HELP!

When I said I was ready for the ‘Big Guns’, I meant that I was willing to risk everything and try the Amphotericin-B (what doctors referred to Ampho-Terrible).  It was such a bad drug and had to be administered and monitored in the hospital.  Fortunately for me, I never had to take it through an IV.  I also mentioned Remeron in my second fax to the doctor.  Remeron is an anti-depressant that my doctor had put me on almost a year earlier when I was having such a difficult time dealing with all the illnesses that kept bombarding my poor body.

2 responses to “Nothing was working!

  1. What a difficult time you’ve had. I bet you’re happier now that you have some semblance of a normal life, a safe home and all that you have to be grateful for. You are so blessed. And you are so fortunate to be able to share this with others; I keep telling you that it’s an amazing thing you are doing because it’s true. You will help a humungous amount of people who are suffering along that exact same path. ♥♥♥

    • Thank you Miche. I do feel happier and definitely grateful for what I have managed to gain. It has been a long and arduous path but I am still here and struggling to push myself further. Is this as far as I am going? I don’t know. I do know that I am not giving up trying to push myself further along in recovery.

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