A fellow blogger Christa Sterken posted this yesterday as her five-minute friday post. I don’t know the circumstances for the move but she has trusted God that this is where she is to be.
Her title struck me. This is not where I want to be, with this illness or in this particular house in this particular area. I have had to accept that this is where I am to be and how I am to live but not without some kicking and screaming along the way. Those of you who have been following me know what I have given up. For those of you who are new to this blog, I am ill from a mold exposure and gave up my belongings, my home, my health and moved into this safe home my husband built for me on property we already owned. I gave up the home I raised my daughters in and all the little things about that life. My comment to Christa’s post is below:
I feel that too. I am not in the home where I most enjoyed life (at least that is the way it feels) before I got sick and had to give up everything and move into this “house” in a neighborhood I don’t want to be in. My daughters grew up in our home. This “house” just feels like a house. I still walk in and it doesn’t feel like home. Is it the bare cold tile floors with no rugs? Is it the wicker furniture with uncomfortable cushions? Is it the lack of what I used to have for decorations? I am determined to be okay here but trying to make it feel like home has been difficult.
I am sure many of you can relate to not being where you want to be for whatever reason or circumstance put you there. I hope you will find the courage to make wherever you are the best you can while you are there. I keep trying to find ways of making this place feel like home and not a “house” that I live in.