I originally posted this on October 6, 2012. While this poem was written for and about women, my poem could easily be made to fit men as well. There are men who are also suffering from environmental illness (chemical sensitivity, multiple chemical sensitivity, or whatever term they have chosen to use). They also suffer many losses and insecurities as well. So please let me also dedicate this to all those suffering whether male or female. I have had folks tell me I don’t think I could do what you are doing. I think they would be surprised to find out how strong they really are when presented with some of the same circumstances. We are all stronger than we think or could even imagine. I chose not to give in but to fight the battles. It wasn’t always easy but I just couldn’t give up.
I spent nearly all of 2003 in Dallas, TX treating at the Environmental Health Center-Dallas for my environmental illnesses, having a hysterectomy and flying back home to California long enough to have sinus surgery (the reason I came home instead of staying in Dallas is a story for another time).
I posted an excerpt of “Who Am I?” on May 10, 2012. This was written about me. Prior to this I wrote a poem entitled “Who Are We?” as a tribute to all the women I had become friends with while in Dallas; women suffering like I was. There are many men with environmental illness but because I was surrounded by mostly women who were sick the poem was about us. I only know the female perspective on this illness and cannot comment on how the men feel or to explain what it is like for them to lose what they feel defines them as men.
WHO ARE WE?
Who Are We?
We are the women of environmental illness
stripped of our “identities”
The ones who no longer feel
so “feminine:
Who Are We?
We are the women who
feel older than our years
We were the caretakers of
our families
Our families are now
our caretakers
Who Are We?
We are the women whose faces
are bare, lashless eyes, pale
cheeks and colorless lips
Gray streaks of hair now replace
what was once a radiant
glow of color
Who Are We?
We are the women whose
bodies have been ravaged
We have lost our food, our
electricity, our vitamins and
our organs
We are the women who are
thin and frail
Who Are We?
We are the women who
struggle each and every day
We endure being poked with
needles, baking in a sauna
and countless physiological
and neurological reactions
Who Are We?
We are the women who walk
around behind masks of charcoal
Our smiles and frowns and lovely
lips hidden to the world
We are the women who secretly
cry out in the darkness of our
empty rooms – yearning
for the life we once had
Who Are We?
We are the women who are
stronger than we could ever
imagine ourselves to be
The Women who daily stare
adversity in the face
The Women who have revealed
our true selves to the public
Who Are We?
We are the women who have
given up our identities in
return for new ones
Gone are our contacts, hair color
and make up
Gone are our dressing in trend and
latest fashion-dos
Who Are We?
We are the women who
will survive
The women unafraid of
unmasking our true selves
We are the women who can
say, “This is the real me!”
Who Are We?
We are not the make-up, the
clothes or the hairstyles
We refuse to be measured
by fashion or trend
We are women
and we will fight to
the bitter end?
allergictolifemybattle 
Powerful words — thank you. 🙂
Colleen – This was one of the things I wrote when up in the middle of the night. I couldn’t sleep, often had lots of pain, or was trying to recover from a reaction in testing.
Thank you, Kathryn. I’m here via Indies Unlimited.
“We refuse to be measured
by fashion or trend”
Bravo!
If only film makers would embrace this concept. I note that at least some BBC dramas tend to select actors that look like ordinary people rather than superstars.
Thank you Kathy. I appreciate you stopping by and commenting. Yes, if only film makers could embrace this concept.