Stuck in What I “Used” to Look Like

I love the way Tamara puts this. We are not the same from illness but the average person isn’t the same either from month to month or year to year. We need to learn to accept ourselves.

Nature's Peace and Hope


Sometimes I get so stuck in what I used to look like, what I used to be like, that I cannot find any appreciation for who I am today…

Recently, it was very difficult to hear a loved one saying, while looking through old pictures, “That’s what Tamara looked like before she got really sick. Wasn’t she beautiful?” Not that I don’t say these very words myself, a disclaimer so to speak, letting others know I haven’t always been heavy, puffy-faced, pale, fill in your own negative adjective here:_________.
But this time, I wasn’t the one to point out my “different self,” it was my husband. And I know, in my mind, that he was saying this with pride, letting someone who has only known me post-sickness in on what I looked like in a healthier state. In fact, he most likely was just mimicking my own words. But, all…

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2 responses to “Stuck in What I “Used” to Look Like

  1. Wow!! Such a powerful message. I thought I was the only one (not really) who wondered what I looked like before and after the two bouts of cancer. I know vanity has sometimes gotten in the way of such feelings. We never see ourselves as we truly are though photos do bring reality in more clearly than looking in a mirror. My bald head is more difficult for me than for anyone else. My husband kisses the top of my head and says, “Oh I love your cute little bald head.”
    Certainly any illness is going to change some physical aspects, but it is our reaction to the challenge of the disease that creates a look also. I hope my positive and loving outlook shines through the increased wrinkles, grey skin, and loss of hair.
    Thank you for a wonderful blog.

    • Thank you Karen for such a wonderful comment. I hope you are doing well despite your challenges. I am sure you are just as beautiful without hair as you are with it. It is all about perceptions and how we allow ourselves to perceive the way we look. Bless you!

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