Just Put Me In A Potato Sack

I am excited to announce Day 8 of my “Spotlight” Author blog tour with Rave Reviews Book Club.  Today I am happy to be hosted by Kenneth Kerr .  I am enjoying basking in the “Spotlight”.

Just Put Me in a Potato Sack

I was becoming more and more depressed at the fact that I had no nice clothes to Wear—or a need to wear them for that matter. In August (2004) I wrote, “I feel bad that I have no need for nice clothes. Hell, I could almost wear a potato sack I used to love to look nice—nice outfits with my jewelry, shoes, and hair done nicely and make-up on. Now I dress shabby, my hair is a mess, I don’t wear my pretty jewelry, I don’t wear any …to read more of my guest blog post, visit Kenneth’s blog and take a moment to leave a comment.

My Daughters Were Affected Too

Today is Day 7 of my Rave Reviews Book Club “Spotlight” Author blog tour.  What a week it has been!  I have had the most amazing blog hosts allowing me the opportunity to guest post about myself and Allergic to Life: My Battle for Survival, Courage, and Hope.

I am privileged to be hosted today by Suzy Turner from Fiction Dreams.

My Daughters Were Affected Too

It’s like I don’t have a life any more. My heart aches for my life back. I try to
Make appearances of things being under control but they aren’t. I can’t go
anywhere with the girls (referring to my daughters). I can’t take them shopping
any more. They say they understand, that it is okay, but it is not okay to me. I
want to do things with them again. My life has been taken away from me…My
heart is breaking. I feel like a part of me is missing and that I will never
get it back.

It was hard to cope with what my life had become. I could not fathom how my illness had affected my daughters. I was so wrapped up in my own pain, my own hurt, and trying to survive that I didn’t pay enough attention to how this was affecting my young daughters and their lives….To read more of my guest post, please click on the link above.  Please take a moment to leave a comment as well to thank Suzy for hosting me.

My Daughter, The Ghost Buster

It’s Day 3 of my “Spotlight” Author blog tour with Rave Reviews Book Club and I am featured as a guest on the Writer’s Chat.  Please hop on over and read my guest post and leave a comment.

I Am A Survivor!

I AM A SURVIVOR!

Yes, I am a SURVIVOR! I fought the battles and decided that I would not allow myself to be a victim any longer.

After years of allowing myself to sink deeper and deeper into depression as a result of my isolation and never-ending medical and legal battles, I had to choose whether I was going to stay in the unhealthy role of victim or begin to live my life despite its many limitations. I chose to SURVIVE!

Please join me on day three of my “Spotlight” Author blog tour with Rave Reviews Book Club.  Today I am being hosted by Harmony Kent, Harmony Kent Online.  Take a moment to visit Harmony’s blog and read my guest post.

Spotlight Author

I am excited to announce that I have been chosen the “Spotlight” Author at Rave Reviews Book Club.  One of the many exciting perks is a blog tour.  Today I am featured on jinlobify.  Please visit the blog and follow with me on my fascinating blog tour.

Catch-Up Mondays: The never ending drive – revisited

I originally shared this blog post on April 7, 2013.  I still cringe at the thought of making this journey by myself.   When my girls were young, one of their favorite movies was “The Neverending Story”.   I experienced the never-ending drive.  This story was originally in my book but didn’t really feel like it belonged where I had it and never really added enough to the story so I deleted it from the manuscript but saved it.  It is another funny story similar to the one titled “Can I help you Ladies?”.   This story starts out with me and my daughter Laura (the same one in the story above).  I chose the Never-Ending Drive as the title for this post and you will understand once you get into it. A few days before the students were to arrive at school, my younger daughter Laura was scheduled to leave for college in San Francisco. My husband was not able to take time off from work so I took the day off to drive her. The night before we were to leave I helped her load the car and trunk as full as we could.  My husband and I would drive up again over the weekend and deliver what was left behind.  I prepared myself by printing directions to her dorm.  I had made the trip before with others but had never driven there myself.  I was going to rely on my daughter to help me with the directions.  I had not been feeling well and was extremely fatigued  I drove to my daughter’s house to pick her up early in the morning.  She was very tired.  I am sure that she had not slept much in anticipation of the move.  We drove through a fast food restaurant to get her some food and coffee.  She was not feeling well and soon fell asleep.  Occasionally I would wake her to see if we were going in the right direction.  She did not know. My plans were to take her to school and hang around until about 7:00 p.m. so that I would not have the heavy traffic to compete with on my drive home alone.  We arrived at the campus and carted all her belongings up to her dorm room on the second floor.  Exhausted, we both tried to set up her computer.  To our dismay, we could not get a connection.  After making a few phone calls, we learned that she needed to take her computer downstairs to an office to have a special component put in it and she needed a certain cord to hook it up to the school’s line. Laura wasn’t feeling well and wanted to sleep.  She had injured her back earlier and could not carry the computer.  So, I picked up the tower and made the trip to get it fixed while she slept.  I was told to pick up the tower in a couple of hours.  By the time I got the computer fixed and back to her dorm it was nearly 6 p.m.  I woke her up and visited with her for an hour and then decided to make the drive home. The goodbyes were hard for both of us.  She was now in San Francisco with no car and not really knowing how to get around town.  She was worried that she would not be able to find her way around.  I was upset because I was leaving my baby in a strange city and would be a two and a half hour drive from her if anything should happen. Reluctantly, I got in my car and drove off, both of us in tears.  I reversed my route and headed for home.  Things were going well.  I had been nervous about driving home by myself in the evening especially because I was not that familiar with the area. The sun began to set and brought with it unexpected challenges.  The glare made it difficult to read the road signs and the traffic was worse than I thought it would be at this time of the day.  I was supposed to take a certain highway number towards home, but there were two of them.  One said east and one said west.  I was confused and there was not much time to make a decision because the traffic was bumper to bumper.  I chose the one that had Oakland written on it. That turned out to be the wrong decision.  After a few miles I began to realize that nothing looked familiar.  It was dark by now and I was not about to get off the highway to ask directions.  I was in an area that was not familiar to me and there were not any major gas stations or restaurants that I could spot from the road. I continued to drive.  The next thing I knew I was crossing a bridge that I knew for sure I had not crossed on my way in.  It was a toll bridge and under construction.  Hesitantly, I paid the toll and crossed the bridge.  I was hoping that I could find some road sign that would give me a clue where I was or where to turn.  My fatigue and exhaustion had become almost overpowering.  I wanted to cry but controlled myself.  I had to get home.  I thought about calling my husband and asking for help but how could he help me if I could not tell him where I was. There was still some time before I was expected to be home so I decided to wait until I could offer some explanation of where I was.  I drove and drove.  Finally, I saw a sign that read Sacramento.  Hooray!  If I could get to Sacramento, I could find Hwy 99 and make my way home. Another hour passed and I was in Sacramento and had found my way home.  I needed to phone home but did not want to admit that I was so horribly lost and that it would be another two hours before I got home.  My husband was worried. He asked me how I could have gotten lost since I had very good directions.  I told him that I did not know and promised to keep in touch as I drove home. Nearly out of gas I found a station that looked to be in a safe area and pulled off the highway.  There would have been plenty of gas if I had not decided to go “sightseeing” instead of driving straight home. Sometime between 11:00 p.m. and midnight I made it home, a little over four hours after I left San Francisco.  Exhausted, embarrassed and hungry, I crawled into bed.  Early the next morning, I got up, got dressed and headed for work as usual. That weekend my husband and I took my daughter the rest of her things and took her grocery shopping.  On our way home, my husband asked me to try to remember which exit I had taken.  In the light of day, I easily discovered what I had done wrong.  The exit I had taken actually took me in a circle and then in a direction completely opposite of where I was headed.  The trip from hell was not one I would ever forget or one that I would ever want to repeat.  I have never made that trip by myself again! I need to explain that a few months earlier I had been on so many medications that we had stopped everything, including my thyroid, to let my body calm down and see what would happen.  My thyroid was a mess and I had just started taking medication again a few days before I made this journey.  I was fatigued and sick.  The drive from here to San Francisco still scares me now so much that I wouldn’t dream of attempting it myself. Have you experienced a never-ending drive that leaves never wanting to do it again?

If I am going to stagger like I am drunk…

If I am going to stagger like I am drunk and nearly fall over if I bend my head down, shouldn’t I at least get to feel the high of being drunk?

I had big plans of getting some projects done today.  I woke up early made my trip to the bathroom and to take my thyroid meds.  As I crawled back into bed, I began to feel like my head and body was spinning.  Thinking it was a little fluke with my autonomic nervous system (I had this happen off and on years ago), I forced myself back to sleep.

As I got up this morning I realized it wasn’t just a little fluke and I hadn’t dreamed that my head was spinning.  I stumbled out of bed and have been stumbling all day long.  I am okay as long as I am sitting still and not bending over.   I have no idea what is causing this dizziness.  My IV is scheduled on Wednesday with my ENT.  I will have to discuss it with him then.

As for my projects, unless they can be done in a sitting and not moving around much position, they are just going to have to wait.

I hope you are all having a great Sunday.

Catch-Up Mondays: I just want a new nose – revisited

I originally posted this on April 7, 2013.  My sinuses have been one of my biggest nightmares since the mold first decided to take up housekeeping in them.  Surprising (knock on wood) after all the exposures I received while being with my dad my sinuses have remained healthy while the rest of my body is still protesting.

Ok – we all at some point we all wish we could change something about ourselves.  I have never really considered changing my nose although it isn’t a perfect nose.

I am not talking about wanting a new nose because of the way mine looks.  I am talking about exchanging it for a healthy nose, one that didn’t get invaded by aspergillus from my sick building at work and one that doesn’t get infected more often than I would like.  While I am grateful the infections are no longer defined as osteomyelitis (bone infection) requiring IV antibiotics, they are painful and frustrating none the less.

At one point I joked about getting a silver nose like the villain in the movie Cat Ballou.  Thinking, mold couldn’t grow in the silver.

Or maybe I could exchange my nose for one of these below.  They are all nice looking noses if they didn’t come infected with mold.

Or maybe I would try to see about getting Elmo’s nose.

A friend back in the beginning used to joke with me about how to get rid of the fungal infection.  Her husband was an AG teacher and they also lived on a ranch.  She told me she would just go and get some Dursban and pour it into my sinuses.  Of course we were just joking and whenever I complained about my sinuses she would offer to run and get some and then start laughing.  Can you imagine putting that in your sinuses?  Not me.

What body part would you like new but not for cosmetic reasons?   If I chose cosmetic reasons, I would be changing out a lot of parts.

FEAR!

In March I read a blog post that my friend Karen Ingalls had on her blog outshineovariancancer.  The title of the blog post was For No Fear: You Must Know Fear.  The title intrigued me and I would have loved to have found this back in the days when I was so fearful; fearful of living another day, fearful that I wouldn’t live another day, fearful of the next reaction, etc.

Thank you Karen for sharing such a wonderful post with us.

 

REVIEW: ALLERGIC TO LIFE BY KATHRYN CHASTAIN TREAT

I was excited to open my email and discover that a review of Allergic to Life had been done by Alex Jones and placed on his blog.  Alex also suffers from new found chemical sensitivities and did an excellent job reviewing and highlighting my book.  Please visit Alex’s Psykoscribble Blog and read my review.

I first met Alex through Rave Reviews Book Club where he is an active member, supporter, and reviewer.