Catch-Up Mondays: How am I ever going to live with Chemical Sensitivity? – revisited

This was first posted on February 9, 2013.  Since that time I have continued to blog and stand up for those of us with chemical sensitivities, environmental illness, and chronic illnesses.  I have published my book and made a valiant effort to get the word out about environmental illness and what it is like living in isolation and fighting to not only survive but find the courage to move forward and dare to hope that life will get better.  Thank you all for sharing with me your stories and listening to mine.

Someone typed this question into a search engine that led them to my blog. How do we live with chemical sensitivity? We have to put one foot in front of the other and trudge through the unknown of what does or does not work for us. We have to live with others (many in the medical profession) not believing that we could be reacting to even trace amounts of a chemical. We have to convince others to avoid chemicals and the wearing of fragrant products (which are loaded with man-made chemicals to produce these fragrances).

How do we live with chemical sensitivity? We become diligent in keeping our environment safe, learn to become an advocate for our own health despite the naysayers, and we learn to deal with isolation. The isolation is many times much harder than trying to convince a doctor that you are not malingering and you truly are reactive. We learn to deal with the “loss of self” that often accompanies the loss of friends who do not care to make themselves safe for you to be around them, the loss of a job as it is difficult to be a productive worker in a work environment full of chemicals, and the loss of our beauty and hair care products.

To live with chemical sensitivity you need to develop a “thick skin”. You need to begin to care more about your health and welfare than you do about what others are or are not saying (You can’t go to the mall shopping with me?  Can you at least go to lunch?  OR How are you? Is there anything I can do the help? How can I make it so that we can be together?). To live with chemical sensitivity you need to say I am going to fight, I am no longer going to be a victim, I will be a SURVIVOR! To live with chemical sensitivity you need to focus on what you still can do and accomplish and not allow yourself to dwell on what you cannot do or places you cannot go.

I have dealt with all these demons. I have dealt with the loss of friends but relished in those that have stayed around and made the effort to be able to be around me. I have dealt with the loss of a job and sitting at home wondering “who I was” and “what would I ever be able to do again”. I have dealt with the medical community (mostly the workers’ compensation doctors and thankfully not my medical caregivers) not believing my condition and stating that I had a somatoform disorder. I have thrown away clothes and learned to live with those that could easily be washed and dried rather than dry cleaned. I have given up my contact lenses in lieu of glasses because I cannot tolerate the chemicals in the lenses or the solution. I have given up coloring my hair and been forced to allow it to stay gray. I have let myself stay in the victim role far longer than I should have.

Slowly I have thumbed my nose at those demons. In place of a job I now have written a book  soon to be published about my life and started writing this blog where I have found so many comforting words and words of encouragement from others in my plight and from those who do not suffer from this affliction. I no longer focus all my attention on “who I was or what I did” and spend more time realizing that I am still the same person but with limitations (maybe a better and more caring person because of these limitations). I have learned that I am okay with my glasses and my casual clothing. I am mostly okay without my make-up and hair coloring. I now say that I am a SURVIVOR! I refuse to allow the victim mentality to swallow me up and make depression my constant companion as it once was, thus allowing me to be the victor not the illness or the depression.

I have sought out therapy, I have surrounded myself with the love of my family and those friends who have hung with me, I have found hair stylists willing to come to me and cut my hair in the backyard or to suit up in tyvek to come into my home and cut my hair, I have started sewing again and doing crafts that once gave me so much joy (using only products that I can tolerate) and I am telling the world what mold, mycotoxins and chemicals can do.

So – How do you deal with chemical sensitivity? You first choose that you are going to take control and do whatever is best for you despite those that are against you. You surround yourself with those that you can count on for love and support. You rebuild your life by doing what you can and not allowing what you can’t to control you. You fight to survive.  You fight to find the courage to continue on and you fight for the hope that you will be okay.  Then you stare those demons of depression and victimization in the face and tell them NO! NO, I WON’T BE A VICTIM! I AM A SURVIVOR!

For those of you following along or new to this blog: How do you live with chemical sensitivity?

Beauty of a Woman BlogFest 2014

I am pleased and honored to again participate in the Beauty of a Woman BlogFest hosted at August McLaughlin’s Blog (Please visit August’s site and read all the other submissions).  To visit my Beauty of a Woman BlogFest post from last year, click here.

In going through my files on the computer recently I came across a file entitled “Tears of a Woman”.  It was a video clip that I found and had saved some time ago because I thought it was so beautiful.

The words that are displayed as the music plays resonates with me; especially the following:  “You see my son, the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, nor is it in her face or in the way she does her hair…The beauty of a woman resides in the eyes.  It is the door to her heart; the door where love resides.

We are conditioned through magazine photo after magazine photo that beauty needs to be achieved through hair products, clothes, and make-up.  It is hard to get through a commercial break on television without seeing an ad for beauty products.  I bought into that in high school.  I began wearing make-up.  My freshman year I had to have the latest hair cut, the Sassoon.  Of course the hippie culture was all around us and I began wearing less make-up but never left without blush, mascara, and lip gloss.  My clothes weren’t department store fancy but they were my own creations.  I had learned to sew in junior high school and a neighbor girl down the street and I would spend hours at the fabric store picking out patterns and trims. Some of the dresses I made were from these patterns (patterns that I can’t have any more but had my husband take pictures of for me).

This dress was done in olive green suede cloth with beautiful embroidered ribbon all along the front zipper.

As I grew older my amount of make-up didn’t change much.  I did spend money on lotions and creams for my face and body.  I spent money and time getting my hair done (highlighted or colored and cut).  When I chose to go back to work, I spent more money on my clothing.  My jeans, tees, and sneakers from time spent as a stay-at-home mom wouldn’t be acceptable in the “work world”.  I was finding myself (or so I thought) and becoming more of a woman of the world.  My hair was done, my clothes were new, I had new shoes, and even started getting manicures (including the infamous gel nails).

Suddenly all that changed!  I was exposed to mold in my work place and I began to develop sensitivities to all chemicals.  I began to feel ugly as I gave up my contacts for old glasses that I hadn’t worn in years.  I gave up coloring my hair and getting it cut because not only could I not tolerate the chemicals in the hair color but I could not tolerate the salon either.  I gave up my nice new clothes because they were contaminated with mold and mycotoxins and were making me ill.  They were traded in for cotton clothing that could easily be washed.  I gave up all my lovely new shoes for a pair of ugly white sneakers.  And worst of all, I gave up my identity.  Survival meant that if I were to leave my house for the doctor’s office I needed to wear this ugly charcoal mask that hid my face and all expression.

Me wearing my mask.

I was sent far away from family and friends to the Environmental Health Center in Dallas for treatment.  What I found there surprised me.  I was not alone! There were other women like me.  These women were wonderful, compassionate, helpful, and supportive.  They opened their hearts to me.  The women also hid behind masks, sported uncolored and uncut hair, and wore simple clothes.  Despite their lack of what the world tells us is beautiful, these women were beautiful to me.  These women had gone through similar loss of health, loss of friendships, loss of belongings, and loss of identity.  I was not judged by my looks.  My unkempt and uncolored hair did not draw strange looks of disapproval.  My mask did not draw fear that I was somehow carrying some dreaded disease nor did it draw the looks of sympathy that I had seen in the outside world.

These women were beautiful through their eyes and their hearts that they opened up to me freely and without reservation.  Their beauty was in the kindness and compassion that comes deep from within.  I have found this kind of friendship and compassion through this blog as well.  It has come from women who know this struggle and from women who do not share my struggles but have reached out and touched me through their kind spirit.

Again, I dedicate this to all those women who have struggled to keep going and who have been forced to give up what society feels is beautiful.  For all those women who have struggled, been forced to give up their identity through their clothes and cosmetics, and dealt with the pain of chronic illness (both the visible and the invisible), I say to you:  “YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL TO ME!”  This blog is dedicated to you.  May your spirit continue to show through those lovely eyes of yours and pour from your beautiful hearts.

Catch-UP Mondays: Faith – revisited

This post was featured in December 2012.  I still have one of these beautiful cards.  I couldn’t part with all of them.

Faith is the daring of the soul to go farther than it can see. — William Newton Clarke

I recently purchased some notecards specifically because of this quote.  The cards were beautiful and I loved the sentiment.  The card company is Punch Card Studio.  They have some spectacularly beautiful cards.  And I have to admit I am a sucker for note cards.  Nothing is more special than sending one to someone you care about.

Faith

I believe this is so true.  Without faith I couldn’t have continued on this journey.  I had to dare myself to go further than I could see because I could not see myself beyond the current pain, hopelessness, loneliness, and isolation.  I had to dare myself to put one step in front of the other when I just wanted to sit in a corner and disappear.  I know many of you out there are struggling as well.  Have faith.  Dare yourself to go farther than you can see.  Who knows what you will find just beyond your sight and reach.

What does this quote say to you?  What are you doing to dare yourself to go further than you can see?  It could be something as a simple affirmation that you will be able to do something you are currently struggling to do today.  “My Healing is already in Progress” (Taken from Power Thought Cards by Louise L. Hay.).

Catch Up Mondays: Feeling Grateful – revisited

 

 

 

This post was originally shared on December 1, 2012.  I continue to be grateful for all that I have gained as well as the many new people I have met on my journey.  Since publishing Allergic to Life, I have met many more amazing new authors (some who have dealt with illness like I have and are about to share their stories).  We need to be grateful for what we have and to continue to share our stories and bring awareness to those suffering without support.

My Christmas tree is up and decorated.  While I don’t have many other decorations to put out compared to my “old life” when I had decorations everywhere, my tree is up and for that I am grateful.

Many of my environmentally sensitive friends are not so fortunate.  Some of my friends are not able to have such a tree (real or artificial).   My tree is decorated in all metal ornaments with a few resin ornaments to fill in the gaps.   A very dear friend bought an artificial tree seven years ago and still cannot bring it into her house.  Some of my friends are even less fortunate in that they have no safe place to call home.

I am thankful each day for what I have managed to regain since this merry-go-round of illness began thirteen years ago.   While my life is not what it was before, it is better than I ever dared hope for.  There was a time when I didn’t know if I was going to live or die from all the reactions and infections.   I feel deeply for those who have just started this journey and for those who have been on this journey as long as I have and are struggling daily to survive and find the hope and courage they need to carry on.

To the men and women I have met on this journey, I am grateful to call you my friend.  We have shared tears and anger but we have also shared laughter and joy.  Laughter at finding a way to put some humor into our crazy worlds and joy in each new accomplishment and step forward we make.

What are you grateful for?

Catch-Up Mondays – I knew I was Sick But – revisited

This post was first shared here on November 2, 2012.  I don’t even think I have mentioned my entire diagnosis in my book.  My letter with the diagnosis would have been a good thing to have added. 

Someone asked me a short time ago to tell more about me.  Rather than go from the beginning I am going to talk about being sent to Dallas and getting my diagnosis.  I knew I was sick but had no idea how far-reaching the mold exposure had been in terms of my body.

I had been sick for about 2 1/2 years when I was finally sent to Dr. William Rea at the Environmental Health Center-Dallas through my ENT.  I arrived on a cold day in February 2002.   After meeting with Dr. Rea, doing lots of tests and being observed, a letter was written for me to submit to my doctors here and to my attorney for my workers’ compensation case.  Dr. Rea wrote an extended letter and I am going to try to give a synopsis of what he found wrong.

Toxic Encephalopathy secondary to mold, mold toxin and chemical exposure (when I was moved from the school with the mold to a new school being painted, etc. while we were trying to set it up for school to start)

Toxic Effects of Petrochemicals and Solvents

Toxic Effects of Mold and Mold Toxin

Immune Deregulation

Allergic Rhinitis

Food Sensitivity (only safe foods at the time were rabbit, venison, deer, elk, cranberries, acorn squash, eggs, raspberries)

Mold Sensitivity

Pollen Sensitivity

Chemical Sensitivity

Chronic Sinusitits

Chronic Fatigue

Fibromyalgia

Autonomic Nervous System Dysfunction

Multi-organ system dysfunction

Neurotoxicity based on SPECT scan

Hyper metabolic and hyper reactive state

I couldn’t sleep, I was on a nebulized antifungal, I was on so many medications when I arrived.  I would sit and look at the television and it was as if the screen was narrowing and moving toward me (a very strange sensation), my depth perception was a mess.  I would be in the testing room, take a drink my from glass water bottle and then set it back down.  Bam, glass and water would be all over the floor.  I couldn’t gauge when the bottle was on the floor unless I slowly lowered it and listened for it to touch the ground before I released it.  My short-term memory was just that, short-term.  My husband made me walk from our condo to the center so that I would be able to find it because I would not have a car when he went home.  Every morning we would walk the four blocks and when we got to the parking lot I wouldn’t remember where I needed to enter the building and my husband would once again have to show me.  Once in the building when I would leave the testing or exam rooms to go to the sauna, I would invariably turn towards the exit.  I just couldn’t keep my directions straight.  So much goes on at the center.  There is doctor appointments, lab appointments, provocation/neutralization skin testing, sauna, IV’s.  I soon learned that my weekly appointment calendar was my only salvation.  Every Friday I would schedule all my appointments for the next week.  I lived by that appointment book.  It was the only way I could remember where I was supposed to be at any given time as long as I could remember how to get from point “A” to point “B”.

In fact when I returned home after a long stay in 2003 and moved into my “safe” home my memory was still a mess.  One day I got up and put a pot of beans on to cook in the kitchen and then went back into my bedroom.  I still had no furniture in the kitchen or living room.  I pretty much lived in my bedroom with my army cot and blankets, my CD player and my television.  One afternoon my smoke alarms started blaring (all four of them from the entrance to each bedroom).  I began to panic!  MY HOUSE WAS ON FIRE!  Was there a wiring issue?  What was going on?  What would I do if my house burned down?  Where would I go?  I began walking through the house looking for any signs of trouble.  Then as I walked towards the kitchen it dawned on me that I had beans on the stove.  The beans had boiled dry and stuck to the bottom of the pan.  Since that time I have to set a timer whenever I put something on the stove.  The caveat to that is that I have to be within ear range of the timer.  I have turned the timer on and went outdoors only to see smoke coming out of my kitchen vent.

My autonomic nervous system was a mess too.  I would go to bed and the slightest movement (me rolling over or me just moving in the bed) would send me into horrible state.  Imagine being at the top of one of those rides at an amusement park where you are raised to the top and then dropped.  That is what it felt like to me.  And this would happen over and over again all night long.  If I tried to get up and go to the bathroom the mere act of lying back down would set it off.  This went on for months and months.  I haven’t had a severe reaction like that in a very long time.  I still get that sensation occasionally but thankfully it is not my nightly companion.

My life has been turned upside down and inside out.  I say I live in the Twilight Zone or Bizarro Land.  I make the most of what I can do and have to accept my limitations and my losses.  The depression was eating me alive from the inside out and I had to make a decision.  Either I let the depression and loneliness and sadness take over my life or I had to learn to change the way I perceived this invisible illness.  I have chosen to try to change my perspective.  I try to stay positive, I try not to feel envious of what others can or are doing, I try to be grateful for what I have and not dwell on what I don’t have.  When friends tell me they are going on a cruise, or going to another country or on some long weekend, jealousy starts to set in and depression rears its ugly head.  Sometimes it is hard to hear the stories from their trips when they return.  I had been home from Dallas for about a year when my husband had the opportunity to go to England as a chaperone with his high school.  Oh how I was envious.  I wanted him to go, but I didn’t want him to go.  I didn’t want to participate in the plans, didn’t want to hear where he was going, didn’t want to think about being here alone at home with him far away having fun.  Once he was gone I decided that this allowed me the freedom to watch whatever movie I wanted to watch or watch movies all day.  I could sit in my bed and read all day if I wanted to.  I ate when I wanted to.  I got in my car and drove around just for the sake of driving around.  I was good until he came home with pictures from the trip.  Sadness welled up inside of me as he told me where he had gone and explained what he had seen.  I wanted to just bolt.  I didn’t want to hear the stories, didn’t want to see the pictures, didn’t want to feel the sadness.  Finally I realized I wasn’t being fair to him.  He was excited about this amazing journey and what he had seen and done.  I listened and I looked and I put on my brave face.  I have to say, however, that I haven’t looked at those pictures since and hate it when we are watching a movie and he tells me that he has been to that fountain or that museum.  I may be getting stronger every day but the realization that I probably will never make that kind of trip is hard but I am becoming more okay with it as time goes by.

Catch-UP Monday: Kindness – revisited

I first shared this post on kindness on August 13, 2012.  I have had many conversations with others about what I wrote in this post.  I continue to try and live those words.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. —Plato

I recently read this.  Those are powerful words!  I think in the midst of my battle for survival and the courage and hope to keep going, I sometimes forget that I am not the only one fighting a battle.   Others are fighting just as hard.  Their circumstances may be different but their battles no less frightening and painful than mine.

I remember sometimes when I would be in the midst of feeling so lonely, so isolated, so scared that I wouldn’t get better, my husband would remind me that “so and so” was much worse off than me.  Of course, in the midst of my own hurt, I didn’t care if someone was worse than me.  Those were not words I wanted to hear.    It would make me angry.  Angry at him and angry that my pain, isolation, loneliness and fear were not being taken seriously.  Eventually I would calm down as the “fight or flight” action dissipated.  Then I would feel bad that I hadn’t cared about the others, about anyone worse off than myself.

I am trying to not let my own situation overshadow all those who are also suffering.  I am also trying hard to be kinder to myself and be more accepting of my limitations.

I recently read a very well written piece about being kind to ourselves.  You can find it at:  http://juliatuchman.tumblr.com/post/27924568863/pet-shop-prophet

Catch Up Mondays: Mindfulness – Revisited

This was originally posted on August 6, 2012.  I have passed this book on and wish I had kept it for myself.  I guess I will order myself another copy.

About a year ago I saw Goldie Hawn featured on the Dr. Oz television show.  They were discussing a book she had recently written, “10 Mindful Minutes”.  Goldie Hawn had started the Hawn Foundation to support research into developing ways of helping children become healthy and eager learners who can reach their full potential.  A program developed by her foundation, MindUP is used by educators around the world to teach children how their minds work and how their thoughts and feelings affect their behavior.  It gives them tools to help deal with stress, negative feelings, calm their minds, remain focused and develop compassion and empathy for others to ultimately be happy themselves.  I ordered the book thinking it could be just as helpful for adults like me suffering with environmental illness and the depression and isolation it can cause.

The book arrived and I opened it up eager to start reading.  Just as quickly I put it down because I couldn’t stay focused.  I have learned that for me it is best not to force a book (especially one dealing with health and emotional healing) on myself.  When the time is right, I will pick it up.  All I could manage to read during the time were my mystery novels and biographies,  books that took me away from my life rather than forcing me to deal with it.

One night I was lying in bed too tired to be up, too awake to be sleeping and not wanting to watch a movie.  I attempted to sleep.  As I turned to lay my glasses on the night table, 10 Mindful Minutes was there where I had placed it months before.  I picked up the book and started reading.  I found it difficult to put down.

I learned that I needed to be more present in my life, practice mindful sensing (taste, sight, hearing and touch) and the importance of being positive.  I learned more about the brain and the “fight or flight” signals and how easily we can be hijacked by the amygdala in the brain.

The one thing that I know I need to do but am having a hard time getting started so that it becomes a routine is allowing myself ten mindful minutes where I sit and breathe and there are no other distractions.  It is probably the easiest thing to do but the hardest to discipline myself into doing.  Maybe now that I have said it and put it in writing, I can conquer it.

While the book is written with parents in mind for helping their own children grow and be a happier person, I think it is well worth reading for everyone.

Homelessness Part 4 (Survival Gear)

In Part 4 of the five-part series Vanessa discusses survival gear and what she feels is necessary when living out of your car or tent.  I first met Vanessa on planet thrive.  I have always loved her posts and comments.  When she posted her tips on living Homeless, I wanted to share them with you.

This is part 4 in a series of installments on the “Homeless” posts I have been doing dealing with issues regarding weather, gear, clothing, food, etc. Section one addressed shelter and security. Section two was on food, water and hygiene. Section three was on clothing. This section will deal with survival gear and the final installment on First Aid.

Survival Gear: If you are going into the remote places of the national forests, BLM (Bureau of Land Management areas), state lands, etc. you MUST be prepared for bad weather, breakdowns with the vehicle and/or equipment and for properly navigating the area.

* Maps of the national forest, national parks, state land, etc. You need to have these to be able to navigate the roads and not wind up on an ATV trail and get stuck. Yes, I have inadvertently took off up a mountain on what I thought was a small two-track that turned out to be for ATV’s only. It was only until it actually narrowed to one trail that I realized my error. It was rather humorous for the people going by however. These maps are available at any national forest ranger station as well as national park offices. You can also purchase them online, but they are more expensive this way because you pay shipping and handling. Outdoor stores/backpacking stores carry maps of the national forest and national parks as well. It is also VERY important that you have maps of the states you are travelling because these will show where the campgrounds are as well as the ranger stations. It will also help you navigate the pitfalls of large cities, agricultural areas, swamps, etc. Get acquainted with not only the area but the state as well.

* Three mylar (or more) survival blankets. These are best used inside a sleeping bag (or outside if you need to keep the bag dry. They also are great for signaling people if you are in distress.

* Sleeping bag. I have a preference for synthetic fill because it is easier to maintain than down since I am homeless and do not have the luxury of fluffing the down up in a dryer. Down also gets compressed which causes it to lose its insulative factor where synthetic takes longer to get compressed. The shells are typically nylon and or polyester, similar to tent fabric because of the need to have “rip stop” fabric in case the bag does get ripped. Bags come in many ratings. Usually from 45 degrees to 30 degrees below zero. A good rule of thumb is that if a bag is rated 10 below, it really is a 0 degree bag. I am not sure why this works out, but it does. The lower the temperature rating, the more expensive. So if you need to, get a 0 degree (10 degree) bag and use a mylar survival blanket as a liner. If in the north, I would not get a bag rated any less than 20 degrees below zero (which is actually 10 degrees below zero). You MUST stay warm. You can achieve this in a number of ways, but do not mess around with a “system” when the wind chill is 20 below and you’re screwing around in your car trying to get it right.

* Wool blankets (NOT cotton). Again, to each their own. If wool doesn’t work, then use a synthetic. Cotton blankets are not a good idea in the winter or damp weather because it will get damp and hold moisture there by wicking your body heat out and lowering it. There is a reason why cotton is called the “death cloth” when it comes to outdoor survival. I have an old (very old) army wool blanket. Yes, it took a while to get it usable, but the effort is well worth it. Yes, there will be all kinds of “stuff” in the blankets (again I cannot afford to get my stuff from high-end stores. I have to get things as cheaply as possible and make it work.) Best way to get the blankets off gassed and cleaned is to hang them out in the elements as much as possible. Sun, wind, rain everyday if you can. Wash with cold water and soap (I use 7th Gen or Sal Suds). I got my blanket for about $15 at an army surplus store.

* Rain gear. I have pants and jacket. You will need the pants for wading through wet foliage on your way to the “latrine”. Getting wet when you cannot build a fire can be dangerous. Should your clothing get wet, change immediately into dry clothing. If you can’t get rain gear then make a poncho out of large, contractor size garbage bags. These are huge and will cover you completely and the bonus is NO FRAGRANCES! Garbage bag manufacturers are no longer labeling their products as scented (at least some of the ones I’ve bought).

* Flashlights. A must is a three D cell Maglight. This is not only a great flashlight but it is durable and a great weapon if need be. It is all metal and fairly heavy. You should also have at least two other sources of light such as a headlamp (fairly inexpensive), which is a necessity so you can have both hands free, and a “mini-Maglight” that is a two AA cell LED flashlight. As far as those who have sensitivities to LED light, I believe there might still be some flashlights left that are non-LED. I use LED because I actually want to see in the dark and see where I am going.

* Knives (yes, plural). First, know the laws in your state. Some states have laws limiting the size of knife you can carry. Secondly, remember to take it off before going to public places, some people are very sensitive to the sight of a knife and may misinterpret why you are wearing it (unless you’re in Montana. Just take it off before going into the courthouse or bank, ha ha ha). There are a number of well-known knife makers like Buck and Gerber that make good outdoor utility knives. I have at least four. I recommend getting two knives that have 3-4 inch blades that can be opened with one hand. Gerber calls these “F.A.S.T” knives. These have a button on the handle that you press (a switch that goes up or down) and a knob on the blade that you push with your thumb and it will flick open. On the surface these look like switchblades. They are not. They have a two-step process that can be used with one hand. This is absolutely a must outdoors. I can’t tell you how many times I have had my hand caught on something (or in) and needed to cut whatever was trapping my hand (usually rope in high tension due to high winds). Another knife would be a small 2 inch blade. Lastly is the Leatherman. This is a square, metal version of the Swiss Army knife with some of the same tools. I have a “mini-Leatherman” which has been great for repairing eye glasses (small screw head), digging out slivers (and other foreign objects), etc. If you get a knife then you need to get a whetstone for sharpening them.

* Good work or leather gloves. Get whatever you can tolerate, but I don’t recommend fabric gardening gloves because they will get destroyed after a few uses (digging rocks, roots, etc). I have a pair of pig skin gloves (Wells Lamont). These are indestructible. I also have a couple pair of Mechanix gloves that are leather and nylon. There are also cloth gloves with rubber palms and finger tips. You’ll just need to experiment with what works for you. Ultimately, you need to protect your hands.

* 100lb test fishing line and some fishing hooks. The fishing line is great for a variety of things, including setting trip lines to deter nosey people from coming in at night.

* A compass and a whistle. Quite frankly I don’t see much value in the whistle if no one is around to hear you, but I still carry one just in case I need rescuing. Learn how to use a compass so you can track your location. Should you need to call for help you need to give the dispatcher good directions on how to find you. Telling them that you’re on a forest service road out by a lake isn’t going to help. Pay attention to what forest service road you are on (they are marked in white numbers on a brown background) and how many miles back you are. Know what national forest you are in and the nearest cross roads with the highway. There have been people who have died because they could not give dispatch accurate information on their whereabouts.

* Wool vest, wool socks, wool pants. During the fall and winter months I carry these in my backpack for “just in case”. * Duct tape and surveyors tape. Get some brightly colored duct tape (Available cheap at either Staples or Walmart). Surveyors ribbon is light plastic ribbon that should be available in hardware stores or Walmart’s hardware department. If you are out in the woods for a walk and you are not very adept at reading a map or compass then tie these every 100 yards or so. This is like “bread crumbs” that the animals won’t eat (except for stupid cows, long story). Duct tape also has many other uses such as short-term repairs, reinforcing axe handles, getting slivers out, etc. *Trioxylene tablets. I covered these back in the “Food” section. They are used in the military and can be used to cook food in aluminum containers and/or for starting a campfire.

* Matches, preferably waterproof or a flint that can be used wet or dry.

* About 50 feet of 550lb parachute cord. This can be used to string up a makeshift shelter if needed.

* An axe or hatchet.

* A hand saw. Available at pretty much any outdoor/sporting goods stores and large retailers who have a sporting goods section OR hardware stores.

* A metal hand trowel and toilet paper. (covered in the opening of this section).

* Silk glove liners and sock liners. These are worn as a first layer in extreme conditions.

* Long johns (covered in the clothing section)

*Wool gloves. I have ones that have Thinsulate and are indispensible.

* Balaclava. These go over the head and cover the neck and face. They are usually spandex and nylon or spandex and polyester. You NEED to have something to cover your nose and face when the wind chill gets below zero.

* Two Shemgahs. A shemgah is what the military wears in the desert (Middle East). It is a square cotton cloth, usually 36-42 inches. They are great for covering your neck and face if you cannot use a Balaclava. These also work great as slings for carrying water jugs from a creek. Note: do NOT get shemgahs in the following color combinations: black/white, red/white, yellow/white, blue/white. These colors are used by the Wahabbi Islamic sect (Saudi Arabia), Palestinians, some other militant Islamic groups and the blue and white is Israel, respectively. Not many people are going to know this, but since I roam around a few military installations I do not want to upset people who may know this or send the wrong message, like expressing support for radical Islam. There are a ton of colors now, but beware, get them from an army surplus site and not a fashion site. The ones used for fashion are poorly made and fall apart/get easily snagged. Plus fashion ones are not 100% cotton. I got mine from Amazon.

* A mirror for signaling help. * Energy foods. Have the following tucked away somewhere for “just in case”. Nuts, energy bars (I don’t care which ones, just something with a lot of calories, fat, not just sugar), nut butters in individual packets (peanut or almond), hard candy, seeds (pumpkin, etc), granola. I also have packets of Emergen-C for replacing electrolytes in hot climates.

*Hats. Have a good cold weather hat in whatever fabric you tolerate (except cotton). It needs to insulate your head from the cold. A good hot weather hat with a wide brim (or drape in back) to protect you face and neck is also a necessity. * Iodine water purification tablets. I covered this in the “Water” section.

* A NOAA (National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Agency) radio. I have an Eton that I bought from Cabelas that is both solar/hand crank lithium rechargeable batteries and battery operated by 3 AAA cell batteries. It also has AM/FM so I have some entertainment. This is crucial for keeping track of adverse weather conditions. I have had to move camp in the middle of the night after tornado and/or flood watches were issued for my area. You can buy cheaper ones that are exclusively for the NOAA weather stations if you don’t want to or can’t listen to the radio.

*A waterproof marker and paper. Ok, I know the marker is toxic but here is why you need this, if you leave your car for an extended period of time, write the date and time you left, your destination and your name. Place it folded over on the dashboard of your car. If for whatever reason you go missing; law enforcement will have this information so they know where to look for you. Do NOT leave it open on the dash. This will announce “BREAK INTO ME!” to someone who is tempted to do so.

* One or two garbage bags. These can be emergency rain gear or used to place on the ground to lie on to protect you from moisture.

* One gallon size Ziploc (or other type) of plastic bag. One of the uses for this is to stuff it full of snow and tuck it in your sleeping bag or inside your jacket (but NOT against your skin) so you can have water. You cannot melt snow in an aluminum (or titanium) cup. When it gets hot it will just steam and jump around. It will not melt.

* Yak-trax.  These are non-slip plastic and metal slip on “grippers” (can’t think of the word right now) to keep you from slipping on the ice.  You pull these over the bottom of your shoes and the metal on them grips slippery surfaces to keep you from falling.  A definite must if you are in winter conditions.

*First Aid kit (to be covered in section 5) This is not an all-inclusive list, but it’s the basics of the most important factors to staying safe (or alive). Keep dry, keep warm/cool, keep hydrated, keep fed and know where you are.

(My “go bag” with a majority of my survival gear)

Author Interviews

I posted today in Catch Up Mondays about dealing with the isolation of illness.  One of the things that kept me going was being able to read.  I am so thankful that out of all the chemicals I am sensitive to newsprint is not one of them.  I have been able to read books throughout my illness.  Of course I have since discovered the e-book reader and my Kindle has become my new best friend.

Recently I have begun to think about including a monthly book review or interview with the author of a book I have read.  I know this doesn’t directly have anything to do with the theme of this blog but since reading and taking myself out of my own misery has had a huge impact on my healing and emotional state, I want to try it and see how it goes.

My reading is eclectic.  I read mystery books, books that are funny, biographies, self-help books, poetry books, and books from others who are dealing with, or have dealt with, chronic illness.  Many of the authors I have recently discovered are not authors that are well-known.  I have some ideas formulating in my mind of books that I would like to talk about or authors I would like to interview.  My first step is getting a basic set of questions that I can tweak to fit the author or the particular type of book.

With all that is going on with the upcoming release of my book and extra days caring for my grandson while his other grandma goes on vacation (oh how I want a long vacation some place – but that is a topic for another post) this may be a while in the making.  I hope you all will enjoy sharing a little of what I am reading or have read that takes me away from my own worries.

Not-To-Do List

How many times have I talked about my to-do list or lists in general?  Probably more times than you wanted to hear about.  Today I am going to talk about a Not-To-Do List.  Author Toni Bernhard (How to Be Sick and How to Wake Up) writes a blog post titled Turning Straw into Gold for Psychology Today.  Earlier this month she wrote a post titled “A Not-To-Do List for the Chronically Ill“.  The post offers eight tips on what not to do when you are chronically ill.

Toni has lived with chronic illness for over ten years and her insight about dealing with chronic illness and how we often treat ourselves when we are chronically sick has provided a great deal of help to others. 

I think you will enjoy Toni’s Not-To-Do List as much as I did.